oh crystal wil be pis when she sees this but if it wasn't for her any of the church cell group gerr wuld du nizesly for thweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gentiec exxxxxxxxxxdddddddperrrrreeeemez
*love *
*
kind *
* patient
*
* trusts
*
* protects
*
* hopes *
* perseveres *
``~[ Friday, December 08, 2006]~ ^
oh crystal wil be pis when she sees this but if it wasn't for her any of the church cell group gerr wuld du nizesly for thweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gentiec exxxxxxxxxxdddddddperrrrreeeemez
``~[ Monday, May 15, 2006]~ ^
oh my. oh my. i blog too much
dazed: yeah my mom caught my brother jacking off to Powerpuff Girls
dazed: she didnt yell at him because she was laughing so hard
dazed: she just told everyone at his birthday party the next day
BaileD: You have the most fucked up family ever. Period.
[mwcfan88> man i really got tan over the past few days
[crack-geanie> alright thats it you've been warned now you're out of
the club
[crack-geanie> i expect you to return you're pointy hat and flaming
cross by tuesday
[mwcfan88> <:(
[blue_tetris> 1 in every 5 people are born in China.
[CF|sick> That's why you should never have more than 4 children.
[knob> anything that starts with a "k" on linux is "gay"
[Wyred> heh, same as Konveration
[knob> oh shit
* knob is now known as gnob
(@DaySleeper) straight people only need gays for the fashion industry
(@DaySleeper) gay people need straights so they don't die out
[Paine> Ah shit guys, I'm fucked.
[Criosys> ?
[Paine> I was showing my mom the way to download and watch music on the
computer downstairs (yeah, illegal, sue me). Anyway, I forgot to factor
in the fact that there's an option box to "Search my computer for music
files".
[Criosys> and...?
[Paine> What I DIDN'T know, was that it also adds video files. So about
5 minutes ago, I walked through the living room, saw my mom and sister
at the computer watching the visualisations.
[Paine> On the way back OUT of the room, the song changed, and all of a
sudden, hardcore lesbian porn for my mom and sister to enjoy.
[Paine> Now they're banging on the door so I'm turning MY music way up
so they can't hear my crying >_<
[Z> Letting XP run for more than a month is like re-using a condom 50 or
60 times
[Z> Theoretically it can work, but is sick and ill advised
[testic] Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty high
[testic] I think that includes wanking and wet dreams
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty low
[kperpy> then i heard my mum at the door and naturally i panicked right,
but luckily i alt+tab'd to porn and took off my pants before she saw
that i was on the microsoft website
<blehnus>In my experience, any attempt to make any system idiot proof
will only challenge God to make a better idiot
[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they cannot get
more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's like Moore's law applied
to annoyance
[blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a megaphone
built-in. That way, your conversations will be clearly audible to
everyone within 500 feet
NGAH I'M BORED
``~[ Sunday, May 07, 2006]~ ^
``~[ Saturday, May 06, 2006]~ ^
LOL
<table style="color: black;" align=center border=1 bordercolor=black
cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#D4E1FF" align=center><font
style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><strong>Your Extroversion
Profile:</strong></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#DBE2FE">Sociability:
High</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#E2E4FD">Activity Level:
Low</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EAE5FC">Cheerfulness:
Low</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#F1E6FB">Assertiveness: Very
Low</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#F8E8FA">Excitement Seeking: Very
Low</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFE9F9">Friendliness: Very
Low</td></tr></table><div align="center"><a
href="http://www.blogthings.com/howextrovertedareyouquiz/">How
Extroverted Are You?</a></div>
``~[ Thursday, May 04, 2006]~ ^
lol.
copy pasted from friedpiggy who copied it from sg_ljers:
"Repression, Sir is a habit that grows. I am told it is like making love
- it is always easier the second time! The first time there may be pangs
of conscience, a sense of guilt. But once embarked on this course with
constant repetition you get more and more brazen in the attack. All you
have to do is to dissolve organizations and societies and banish and
detain the key political workers in these societies. Then miraculously
everything is tranquil on the surface. Then an intimidated press and the
government-controlled radio together can regularly sing your praises,
and slowly and steadily the people are made to forget the evil things
that have already been done, or if these things are referred to again
they're conveniently distorted and distorted with impunity, because
there will be no opposition to contradict."
- Lee Kuan Yew as an opposition PAP member speaking to David Marshall,
Singapore Legislative Assembly, Debates, 4 October, 1956
``~[ Sunday, April 30, 2006]~ ^
sigh
i went to a workers' party rally today. at least i TRIED okay. just that
it was so packed with people. there were at least 800 people at 8pm and
nearly 1k by the time it ended. i gave up and went home because i
couldn't even see the chairman on the stage. at first when i went there
it was all black. i thought it was just dark.
it was dark with people.
GOD.
in other news, Ps. rachel left today. another stick in the tower
collapses. HAHA she'll only hug me :P
Ps. Aaron's taking over-- i think he's a very good musician and singer.
people were rather shocked. i'm not.
did you think i'd know nothing about my own sister?
``~[ Wednesday, April 26, 2006]~ ^
ha.
1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 7 （HOLY SHIT)
11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 9 F***
21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 8 (expression of amusement-- it isn't funny anymore)
31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 6 (still acceptable. i think)
41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 6
51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 6
61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 5
71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 8 (i'm still fine. i think.)
81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 8 (HA)
91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 6
Total: 69 (OMGWTFROFLOLLERSKATESHOLYSHITHOLYOMG!
GOD>
mcvideogame.com
LOL
i got to 20 years and 200k in the comp lab, then got busted because i got careless and some cow got BSE without me knowing, and i didn't bribe the nutritionist.
the trick is to do everything legally at the start.
LOL
i got to 20 years and 200k in the comp lab, then got busted because i got careless and some cow got BSE without me knowing, and i didn't bribe the nutritionist.
the trick is to do everything legally at the start.
``~[ Tuesday, April 25, 2006]~ ^
rofl
<!-- BEGIN bunnyhero labs pet code -->
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href="http://bunnyherolabs.com/adopt/showpet.php?b=bWM9d29sZi5zd2YmY2xyPTB4NDVlZTZhJmNuPWNyeXN0YWwgbHVtaW5vdXMgZ3JlZW4mYW49cmFkaWNhbGFjZQ=="><img
src="http://petimage.bunnyherolabs.com/adopt/petimage/bWM9d29sZi5zd2YmY2xyPTB4NDVlZTZhJmNuPWNyeXN0YWwgbHVtaW5vdXMgZ3JlZW4mYW49cmFkaWNhbGFjZQ==.png"
width="250" height="300" border="0" alt="my pet!"></a>
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``~[ Monday, April 24, 2006]~ ^
OMG.
Yesterday:
Headline "Election or no election, i've to act swiftly"
Two pages into the paper:
"Opposition not of First World quality-- MM"
Today:
HEADLINE "PAP questions quality of opposition"
OHMIGOD THE POIGNANCY. I AM DISGUSTED
``~[ Sunday, April 23, 2006]~ ^
teh c0ffin iz 700 big ph0r teh h013 10113r5k4735
Rigidi7y 4nd c0nf0rmi7y 4r3 in3vi74b13 in 4ny 50ci37y.
Ku0 P40 Kun'z 73h C0ffin iz 700 Big ph0r 73h H013 iz 4 p3rc3p7iv3
100k in70 73h rigidi7y 4nd c0nf0rmi7y 0f 73h 50ci37y 7h47 5ing4p0r34nz
1iv3 in. Ku0 P40 Kun u53z 73h i55u3 0f 73h phun3r41 p107 4rr4ng3m3n7z 4z
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pr353n7 50ci37y.
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533kz 4 57ruc7ur3d 5y573m which 7ri3z i7z b357 70 31imin473 73h hum4n
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r35u17z in 4 14ck 0f c0nc3rn 4nd 73h p055ibi1i7y 0f 3xc3p7i0nz b453d in
hum4ni7y.
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ph34r 0f 4ff3c7ing 7h3ir 0wn 50ci41 m0bi1i7y.
4n07h3r kind 0f rigidi7y iz 73h 7r4di7i0n41 rigidi7y 7h47 3xi57z in
4ny 50ci37y p055355ing 4 7r4di7i0n, 0r w4y 0f d0ing 7hingz. 73h
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73h p14y c0nf0rmz 70 4 c3r74in 574nd4rd 4z w311 4z high3r p0w3rz.
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0n3 p107" wi7h n0 r00m ph0r 3xc3p7i0nz. In r341 1if3, 3v3ry0n3 4imz 70
b3c0m3 4 14wy3r 0r 4 d0c70r, wi7h n0 r00mz ph0r 3xc3p7i0nz. 3v3ry0n3
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5iz3 4nd 5h4p3. 4ny "5p3ci41 ch4ri5m4 4nd uniqu3 ch4r4c73r" w0u1d 7huz
b3 di5c0ur4g3d by 73h 5y573m.
7hiz c0nf0rmi5m r35u17z in 4 5i7u47i0n wh3r3 n0b0dy iz wi11ing 70
7ry n3w 7hingz, wi7h 73h crud3 455ump7i0n 7h47 4ny0n3 wh0 d03z n07 574y
in 73h b0x 4nd 57ickz hiz 13g 0u7 70 7ry 4nd 134v3 73h b0x wi11 5imp1y
g37 hiz h4nd 53v3r3d, 4nd 1053 73h p0w3r 70 ch0053 wh37h3r h3 5h0u1d
574y in 73h b0x 0r n07.
``~[ Thursday, April 20, 2006]~ ^
bad Joke
Melvin the Destalin wants me to let it die because it's a bad joke but i
just can't.
AlanTangShengHong: What happens when you put Nigel Bay's presentation
and Samuel Lim together?
People: What?
Alan: the MArginalisation of M.A. Jinnah
now for those who won't understand it?
[mmiikkee12> XD, i just got the best spam message ever
[mmiikkee12> "Make $$$ Fast"
[mmiikkee12> "Hold down your shift and 4 keys at the same time. In about
a second you will be making $$$ fast."
[phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
[burnison> yep
[phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
[burnison> hell yes
*phex waits for the pun to set in
[Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan.
[Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a
bag of food.
[Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when
everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.
[Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the teacher was
saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the 3rd world, but there
isn't really a 2nd world
Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2 fought then?"
[Harkila> i've always wondered what "holy shit" actually is
[Harkila> my strongest mental image is about the pope taking a crap
[bleak-> a radiant turd with a halo
[Simqx> like... xbox?
AHA
from now on, all posts posted in blogger deemed fit will be posted in livejournal as well.
leave it up to your creativity to figure out my LJ address.
I cannot explain.
i know most of you have read this already but who cares: Pub Date: 19/04/2006 Pub: ST Page: H1 Headline: JC student kills himself, convinced his private parts were too small By: Stephanie Yap and Liaw Wy-Cin Page Heading: Home Notes: Illustration
Suicide highlights importance of sex education in schools, says coroner HE WAS a second-year student at a top junior college, a member of the school volleyball team, a 'cheerful and energetic' boy who was doing well enough in his studies to take Special Papers. Yet on March 3 this year, the 18-year-old jumped to his death from a Bedok housing block, because he was convinced his private parts were too small. Delivering a verdict of suicide yesterday, State Coroner Tan Boon Heng was sufficiently concerned by this 'tragedy of misinformation' to recommend that the case be forwarded to the Ministry of Education (MOE). 'The importance of sex education to our young people in schools cannot be over-emphasised,' he wrote. 'The case study is useful for relevant MOE officers to appreciate the problem of the severity of misinformation even among the best and brightest in our schools.' The boy, who cannot be named, had confided in his mother in October last year that he was worried his private parts were too small. She took him to a neighbourhood clinic, where the doctor told him his penis was of a normal size for an Asian man, and prescribed him multivitamins. Despite strong emotional support from his girlfriend and his mother, he remained convinced he had a problem. He also had a history of being stressed over schoolwork. In January this year, he told his mother that his life was 'boring and meaningless' and that the only thing stopping him from suicide was his family's love. On March 3, after his usual volleyball practice, he took a bus from school to the Bedok interchange, but did not take his usual connecting bus home. When his sister sent him a text message at around 7pm to ask if he was coming home for dinner, he replied that he would eat out. The next and final message she received from him was at 8pm, telling her and their mother to take care. They realised something was wrong, but he repeatedly failed to answer his phone. He jumped from a housing block near the Bedok bus interchange at around 8.30pm. He was semi-conscious when he was taken to Changi General Hospital, but was pronounced dead at 10.40pm from multiple injuries. In his suicide note, written in a notebook he had bought 40 minutes before his death, he apologised to his girlfriend and his family for killing himself. 'He said it was not due to the stress of his examination, but it was more about his physical development ... He still knew there was something wrong with his body parts,' the investigation report said. In his judgment, State Coroner Tan said the boy's death showed that even intelligent young people can be victims of misinformation. 'While we are the beneficiaries of this Internet age that hails an era of information and knowledge enriching our lives, the less-informed also become victims to junk information and worse, untruths,' he said. 'The deceased was so tormented by his unfounded (belief in his) inadequacy that it drove him to end his life.' The case highlighted the importance of sexuality education, both in and out of school, he said. 'It may have helped if the deceased had the benefit of counselling now widely available. If parents are aware of their children being tormented in this way, they should seek professional help lest such tragic deaths should happen again.' Sex education, usually termed sexuality education, usually takes the form of a short series of lessons. One secondary school teacher with five years' experience told The Straits Times that at his school, sex education covers three periods a week for three weeks. Students write reflection logs on topics like boy-girl relationships, different levels of intimacy, as well as legal issues. However, he said teaching students how to be comfortable with their physical and sexual development is not in the syllabus. 'But this is something that should be looked into because it is definitely part of the students' development,' he said. - ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY LIAW WY-CIN ysteph@sph.com.sg on another note, i also cannot explain:
``~[ Tuesday, April 18, 2006]~ ^
Incredible Genius dammit!!
V. busy because of the chem mock test, chinese test, and history test (all tommorrow wtf?! so i decided to boost my blog with some bullshit.
from iwascoerced.livejournal.com:
oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah!
from iwascoerced.livejournal.com:
The Random Question Meme!
An array of completely random questions about my friends!
- What's the last thing you said to
tauhuii?
- eh..... good bye?
- Doesn't
- Nah...... dont really think so
- What would the minions of
- OMG O.O *faints*
- What do you most envy about
- SHE LIVES IN BUKIT TIMAH!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- How many people has
- with his new COOL specs, i think like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000
- Why did
- how would i know????
........ to get to the other side?
- What happened the last time you and
- eh...... what happened????
- What was
- a teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini???? -________-''''''''
SCHOOL UNIFORM DUH - What do you think of
- HMMMM what should i think of his family??????
- What is the most insightful thing you have heard
- That was so long ago i dont think i remember =P
please don't hit me ><
incredible!
alas, I had passed such a wonderful opportunity to partake in such a magnificent work of ingenuity.
imagine the consequences, were malcolm [c] to leave, leaving Samuel L. left [oh my, pardon my multitude of lame puns], which would potentially EXCARCEBATE the politically tense climate within the class, and with an uncompromising stance by the [political] leaders leading to an ideological conflict.
but of course, what would be the yardstick for such a comparison? clearly, a suitable political climate does not exist for such a situation to occur.
... fuck why am i so lame
alas, I had passed such a wonderful opportunity to partake in such a magnificent work of ingenuity.
imagine the consequences, were malcolm [c] to leave, leaving Samuel L. left [oh my, pardon my multitude of lame puns], which would potentially EXCARCEBATE the politically tense climate within the class, and with an uncompromising stance by the [political] leaders leading to an ideological conflict.
but of course, what would be the yardstick for such a comparison? clearly, a suitable political climate does not exist for such a situation to occur.
... fuck why am i so lame
2006-04-17 03:56 pm UTC (link) | |
| I CANNOT EXPLAIN Clearly there is a lack of GROUNDS FOR OPTIMISM |
2006-04-17 05:49 pm UTC (link) | |
| exacerbate. Topic Sentence - 1. NO TOPIC SENTENCE. Elaboration - You must have the TEEA structure when you write your essays. Topic Sentence, Elaboration, Example and ANALYSIS. Famous Historian K. Ping Kan once said that "but you must have a topic sentence!" Example - Biscuit Analysis - There is no clear topic sentence, and thus no FOCUS in your essay. Topic Sentence - 2. Where are your authoritative sources? Elaboration - The Japanese used little authoritative sources in their history textbooks thus they phail. Gumit Ganguly wrote that "lol I reference a lot of sources wOrXxXxX" Example - DARRELL LIAN Analysis - Lack of authoritative sources leads to the MANIPULATION and misrepresentation of the data that you have. 3. NO HOWEVER Elaboration - The lack of HOWEVER denotes no turning point in the essay. ARE YOU ONLY SUPPORTING ONE STAND? Example - Scholar T.S.H. Alan once asserted that "why no however?" Analysis - Having no however shows an immature perception from the writer that he is unable to conceive of an alternative standpoint regarding the issue at hand. L5 - The Authoritative Sources are the most important factor - However < EXACERBATE - Topic sentences < Quoting me, Samuel L. - Authoritative Sources give me my notes (and thus all I know about the topic) WAIT A MINUTE. - exacerbate: L1 - uncompromising stance: L2 - ideological conflict: L3 - yardstick: L4 - fuck why am i so lame: L5 THUS YOUR ESSAY GETS L5 11/12 (Reply to this) (Thread) |
2006-04-18 09:50 am UTC (link) | |
| ROFL GUMIT GANGULY and too much other gg stuff lol ... hey, tmr, since its just a mock test, i'mma fuck it up, and quote "Ming Chun L, 2006" - UNCOMPROMISING STANCE HECK, EVERYTHING DAMNIT (Reply to this) (Parent) |
oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah!
``~[ Sunday, April 16, 2006]~ ^
My father's going sulawesi tommorrow on a teaching trip. and also to try and connect the locals to hongkong diners so that they can the HK people get good dinner and the sulawesi locals get good money. heard they need 10 tonnes a day roflollerskates!
so during healing rally
i saw another lightstalker because he was sitting two rows away and my dad was off praying for another guy so i was really bored and i went over and talked to him.
Guy (let's call him A): Dude.
Me: What
Guy: You sound like a lightstalker.
me: me? uh yeah.
Guy: who?
me: Lieutenant Colonel, SDF and triple department head. i'm a ninth-tier, 3rd mort ambassadoring watchment and imperium from emerald knights.
Guy: WTF?! OMGOMGOMG.
lol.
``~[ Friday, April 14, 2006]~ ^
the ultimate spoof-- tales of phantasia, Final Fantasy, Guilty Gear X, and Pokemon TCG combined.
Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game: Blue Moon Rising
1.1 Characters
Name: Fuzzwuzz Kooloobuckwuck
Class: Amnesiac -> Failed Clone -> Saviour
Description: Main character of the game discovered at the base of Doom Peak. Bears a mysterious "3.1415" tattoo on his left forearm. Seeks out "The Man in the Lacy Bonnet" to recover his lost memories.
Weapons of Choice: Palm trees, telephone booths, oil drums
Default level: 1
Name: Bumwum Rabadabee
Class: Village girl -> Last member of extinct superior race -> Villain Hostage
Description: Simple village girl with mysterious healing powers, occasionally able to shoot giant fish out from a hollow steel rod. Discovered Fuzzwuzz at the base of Doom Peak when she was out shaving ice for the village party. Joins him on his quest after she discovers his connections to the mysterious "J" organisation.
Weapons of Choice: Hollow rods, pinatas, Bruce Lee
Default level: 1
Name: P. Zhansheng 1990
Class: Technician -> Cyborg -> Ultima Weapon
Description: An underrated computer hacker who works at a coal mine to make ends meet. First meets Fuzzwuzz and Bumwum in the coal mine near Vermillion City, but only joins after Fuzzwuzz defeats Lt. Surge. Able to hack into anything (except trees and two variations of home-grown wheat) and re-enroute the system. Only other permanent member (besides Fuzzwuzz) upon joining the team.
Weapons of Choice: Mad skills
Default level: 7
Name: Sephiroth
Class: Lumberjack -> Swordsman -> Legend
Description: A kind hearted lumberjack who slogs his pants off to support his ailing wife George Best and two young children Ren and Stimpy. Joins the party after he discovers his employer Koko Krunch has brainwashed his fellow lumberjacks into mindless Stunt Doubles.
Weapons of Choice: Nun habits, instant noodle flavourings, Masamune
Default level: 10
Name: aznGer
Class: Retard -> Cannon fodder
Description: Fuzzwuzz needed some love since Bumwum wouldn't give him any, so he decided to go search on GunBound. He met aznGer, who was dressed in a cute panda suit, and immediately invited her to join his party on their quest. Turns out she was a man. A weak one at that.
Weapons of Choice: Not able to equip weapons
Default level: 1
1.2 Begins hence the adventure!
Your character (Fuzzwuzz) wakes up in a hospice, surrounded by old people and freshly cut pineapples. A young girl walks in and introduces herself as Bumwum. She tells you that she found you at the base of Doom Peak.
After she asks you about your name and origin, which you can't remember, you regain control. First head north one screen and open the chest in the top right hand corner to find Fuzzwuzz's Ultimate Weapon: Deux Ex Machina. Equip it immediately.
Leave the hospice and talk to everybody in town twice. Head south and into the overworld. There will be an explosion in the town, and Fuzzwuzz quickly re-enters the town to see it destroyed, a man in a lacy bonnet standing in the town square.
Bumwum emerges from the hospice and tells you that everybody is dead. The man in the lacy bonnet says something about it being retribution and makes references to the "J" organisation. Fuzzwuzz is overcome by emotion upon hearing the organisation's name, and the man laughs mockingly.
An octogenarian lying on the ground starts stirring, and the man in the bonnet is about to stab him when Fuzzwuzz gives a loud cry and rushes at him. It's time for our first boss fight.
Boss: Man in Lacy Bonnet
Level: ??
Weaknesses: None
Element: None
This fight would have been hard had you not obtained your ultimate weapon. Heal whenever you get attacked and retaliate with your only technique available: One-inch Strike. His attacks will hurt a lot, considering he's one of the final bosses and you're a bloody level 1. Just try to survive for a few rounds. After 5 rounds, Bumwum will join the battle. Her technique, Full Restore, is particularly useful since it regenerates 100% HP and cures all status ailments.
After a few more rounds, the Man in the Lacy Bonnet will retreat into the shadows, leaving you with 5000 exp and 10000 gils richer.
After the battle, Bumwum will tell Fuzzwuzz about her past, and how she has been searching for the "J" organisation because it was where her parents told her to seek her destiny. Fuzzwuzz understands that to find out more about his own past, he has to find "J" as well, and hence they set off on their grand adventure, leaving behind 20000 cadavers in town.
1.3 The Forest of Lore! Onward to Destiny!!
After leaving the town, head north towards a dark patch of green, surrounded by a force field. This is the Forest of Lore, which you must pass through in order to reach Fuchsia City, but the force field prevents you from doing so. Try heading into the forest anyway, and Bumwum will suggest heading west to Vermillion City. That's where we'll go now.
1.4 We'll revisit the Forest of Lore later! Onward to Vermillion City!!
Random battles are pretty much useless now because your level is too high for them, considering they give you between 1-10 exp. Continue heading west until you see a bridge. Cross the bridge and continue heading west. You will soon see Vermillion City in all its grandeur, and also a small cave in the mountains to its north. That's where we will head first.
Inside the cave, head north two screens. Open the chest to your left for a Potion. Head east and open the chest there for 2000 gil. Continue heading east until you hit a large empty space. Head north and open the chest for a Revive. Head further north two screens. You should see a group of coal mine workers. Talk to the one dressed in swirling black robes with red hair. He will introduce himself as P. Zhansheng 1990, but won't say much more. Talk to him another 10 times, and he will slam the wall in anger.
A landslide occurs, and two of the coal mine workers are trapped under large pieces of rubble. P. Zhansheng 1990 takes out his laptop and hacks into the rocks' mainframe, disintegrating them into atoms. The workers thank him and the group leaves for the inner cave. Do not follow them once you regain control. Instead, leave the coal mine and head for Vermillion City.
Vermillion City has a large pharmacy for you to buy medical supplies, and the armory sells good armor for your level. Don't buy any of the weapons for Fuzzwuzz though, they will lower his attack by 230. Buy a Dark Red Bruce Lee for Bumwum (increases attack by 10) and sell her previous Steel Rod. Once you have enough Potions and Revives, go to the center of the city, where you will find an army commander shooting laser beams at passersby. Avoid his laser beams and approach him. Talk to him for your second boss fight.
Boss: Lt. Surge
Level: 10
Weaknesses: None
Element: None
Another easy battle. Just one hit from Deux Ex Machina and he goes down. Gives you 200 exp and 3000 gil.
Lt. Surge then gives you the Thunder Bolt ability. Teach it to Fuzzwuzz, it is much stronger than One-Inch Punch. After beating Lt. Surge, P. Zhansheng 1990 will appear and remark on your lack of skill. He then offers to train you, in exchange for a llama. Agree, of course, even though you don't have a llama now. P. Zhansheng possesses only one technique, Hack, which can be used to destroy any enemy on screen as long as it is not of the Tree or Home-grown Wheat elements. Now that you have P. Zhansheng 1990, you are able to enter the Forest of Lore! Leave Vermillion City and head east to the forest.
1.5 The Forest of Lore! Onward to Destiny!! 2
(to be continued)
A few days ago, Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game: Blue Moon Rising reached the markets, exploding upon touchdown to release clouds of toxic gases that immediately, and rather mysteriously turned anyone who approached into a green, sticky goo. The Tales (of Final Pocket Dragon Gear) series had always captured my hearts as a wee lad, and I immediately jumped upon my segway to obtain a copy for myself. Of course, being a Tales game, how could it be bad? With this in mind, I returned home, and after wiping off the sticky sweat that had gathered on the cartridge (Pressing those buttons on the segway is hard work you know), I threw it into the console and was ready to go.
GRAPHICS: 10/10
Sure it only has 4 pixels to represent each character, one on the top for the hair, one below for the face and two more under that to show clothing, but its a Tales game. The characters look so cute, and the creators have wisely left the details of each of them to the viewers imagination. With their cheerful 1 pixel emoticons and their 256 pixel weapons, you'll be left in sheer amazement at how something so simple ever got so far! I almost came just watching BumWum cast restore on FuzzWuzz as the sparkles were soooo erotic. Not only does it get a perfect 10, I dedicate all my DnD characters to this wonderful game! Huzzah!
SOUNDS: 10/10
It might be perfectly incapable of equalling the brilliant sound of that wondrous game pong, but it definitely wipes the shit ass sounds in such games as Oblivion and Halo-2, cuz its a Tales gamez! Ez Fun and delicious to hear each character commenting in sparnzihs (sp) on how wondrouz the flower is. Particularly, eez good in making funny noise come out of speekerz, lyk beep boop.
STORY: 10/10
EEZ TALEZ GAMEEEEE!!! ME NO WAN U TOKING CRAP! IT GOOD! IT GOOD! IT GOOD! ITGOOD. LOLLOZZZZ THARS NO WAYZ ANY GAMEZ CAN BEATS THIS GOOD! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE MAIN CHRAZ BSET FREDN TURNZ OTU TO BE A BAD GUY ALL ALOGN BUT IS ALOS REALLY A GOOD GUY HELPOING THE BAD GUYS TO BE A SPY ON THE EOTHER BADGUYZ LOL!! TALES! TALES! TAELTGH!TGH
GAMEPLAY: 10/10
Boop. It was rather confusing at first, when i realized i needed to perform a qcf x 2 along with pressing C, a button located along the wire of the controller, in order to move my character forward. I really haven't even finished talking to the the man in the lacy bonnet, but of course, its a tales game. Lol.
REPLAYABILITY: 10/10
Final fantasy sucks. Talez is the balls.
OVERALL: 10/10
I M NOT A FANBOY! FAG! I RATE ALL GAMES BAESD ON HOW FUN THEY ARE AS OPPOSED TO WHAT TITLE OR SERIES THEY COE MFROM! JUST THAT FINAL FATNSY, GTA, COTNERSTRIKE< STARCRFGT, WRARFRFT, AND ALL OTHER GAMES AR E TOO STUPID! I KNOW CUZ I READ ALL THE OTHER REVIEWS! ONLY TALES GAME! TALLLESSS GAMEEEE! TALELELEES GAMEEEEE!!!! AND YOU OTHERS CALL URSELVES FANS!!!! I BET YO UDONT EVEN HAVE FUZZWUZZ BODDY PILLWS AND BUMWUMB COOKIES AND LDOLLLLLL!!!!!
1.1 Characters
Name: Fuzzwuzz Kooloobuckwuck
Class: Amnesiac -> Failed Clone -> Saviour
Description: Main character of the game discovered at the base of Doom Peak. Bears a mysterious "3.1415" tattoo on his left forearm. Seeks out "The Man in the Lacy Bonnet" to recover his lost memories.
Weapons of Choice: Palm trees, telephone booths, oil drums
Default level: 1
Name: Bumwum Rabadabee
Class: Village girl -> Last member of extinct superior race -> Villain Hostage
Description: Simple village girl with mysterious healing powers, occasionally able to shoot giant fish out from a hollow steel rod. Discovered Fuzzwuzz at the base of Doom Peak when she was out shaving ice for the village party. Joins him on his quest after she discovers his connections to the mysterious "J" organisation.
Weapons of Choice: Hollow rods, pinatas, Bruce Lee
Default level: 1
Name: P. Zhansheng 1990
Class: Technician -> Cyborg -> Ultima Weapon
Description: An underrated computer hacker who works at a coal mine to make ends meet. First meets Fuzzwuzz and Bumwum in the coal mine near Vermillion City, but only joins after Fuzzwuzz defeats Lt. Surge. Able to hack into anything (except trees and two variations of home-grown wheat) and re-enroute the system. Only other permanent member (besides Fuzzwuzz) upon joining the team.
Weapons of Choice: Mad skills
Default level: 7
Name: Sephiroth
Class: Lumberjack -> Swordsman -> Legend
Description: A kind hearted lumberjack who slogs his pants off to support his ailing wife George Best and two young children Ren and Stimpy. Joins the party after he discovers his employer Koko Krunch has brainwashed his fellow lumberjacks into mindless Stunt Doubles.
Weapons of Choice: Nun habits, instant noodle flavourings, Masamune
Default level: 10
Name: aznGer
Class: Retard -> Cannon fodder
Description: Fuzzwuzz needed some love since Bumwum wouldn't give him any, so he decided to go search on GunBound. He met aznGer, who was dressed in a cute panda suit, and immediately invited her to join his party on their quest. Turns out she was a man. A weak one at that.
Weapons of Choice: Not able to equip weapons
Default level: 1
1.2 Begins hence the adventure!
Your character (Fuzzwuzz) wakes up in a hospice, surrounded by old people and freshly cut pineapples. A young girl walks in and introduces herself as Bumwum. She tells you that she found you at the base of Doom Peak.
After she asks you about your name and origin, which you can't remember, you regain control. First head north one screen and open the chest in the top right hand corner to find Fuzzwuzz's Ultimate Weapon: Deux Ex Machina. Equip it immediately.
Leave the hospice and talk to everybody in town twice. Head south and into the overworld. There will be an explosion in the town, and Fuzzwuzz quickly re-enters the town to see it destroyed, a man in a lacy bonnet standing in the town square.
Bumwum emerges from the hospice and tells you that everybody is dead. The man in the lacy bonnet says something about it being retribution and makes references to the "J" organisation. Fuzzwuzz is overcome by emotion upon hearing the organisation's name, and the man laughs mockingly.
An octogenarian lying on the ground starts stirring, and the man in the bonnet is about to stab him when Fuzzwuzz gives a loud cry and rushes at him. It's time for our first boss fight.
Boss: Man in Lacy Bonnet
Level: ??
Weaknesses: None
Element: None
This fight would have been hard had you not obtained your ultimate weapon. Heal whenever you get attacked and retaliate with your only technique available: One-inch Strike. His attacks will hurt a lot, considering he's one of the final bosses and you're a bloody level 1. Just try to survive for a few rounds. After 5 rounds, Bumwum will join the battle. Her technique, Full Restore, is particularly useful since it regenerates 100% HP and cures all status ailments.
After a few more rounds, the Man in the Lacy Bonnet will retreat into the shadows, leaving you with 5000 exp and 10000 gils richer.
After the battle, Bumwum will tell Fuzzwuzz about her past, and how she has been searching for the "J" organisation because it was where her parents told her to seek her destiny. Fuzzwuzz understands that to find out more about his own past, he has to find "J" as well, and hence they set off on their grand adventure, leaving behind 20000 cadavers in town.
1.3 The Forest of Lore! Onward to Destiny!!
After leaving the town, head north towards a dark patch of green, surrounded by a force field. This is the Forest of Lore, which you must pass through in order to reach Fuchsia City, but the force field prevents you from doing so. Try heading into the forest anyway, and Bumwum will suggest heading west to Vermillion City. That's where we'll go now.
1.4 We'll revisit the Forest of Lore later! Onward to Vermillion City!!
Random battles are pretty much useless now because your level is too high for them, considering they give you between 1-10 exp. Continue heading west until you see a bridge. Cross the bridge and continue heading west. You will soon see Vermillion City in all its grandeur, and also a small cave in the mountains to its north. That's where we will head first.
Inside the cave, head north two screens. Open the chest to your left for a Potion. Head east and open the chest there for 2000 gil. Continue heading east until you hit a large empty space. Head north and open the chest for a Revive. Head further north two screens. You should see a group of coal mine workers. Talk to the one dressed in swirling black robes with red hair. He will introduce himself as P. Zhansheng 1990, but won't say much more. Talk to him another 10 times, and he will slam the wall in anger.
A landslide occurs, and two of the coal mine workers are trapped under large pieces of rubble. P. Zhansheng 1990 takes out his laptop and hacks into the rocks' mainframe, disintegrating them into atoms. The workers thank him and the group leaves for the inner cave. Do not follow them once you regain control. Instead, leave the coal mine and head for Vermillion City.
Vermillion City has a large pharmacy for you to buy medical supplies, and the armory sells good armor for your level. Don't buy any of the weapons for Fuzzwuzz though, they will lower his attack by 230. Buy a Dark Red Bruce Lee for Bumwum (increases attack by 10) and sell her previous Steel Rod. Once you have enough Potions and Revives, go to the center of the city, where you will find an army commander shooting laser beams at passersby. Avoid his laser beams and approach him. Talk to him for your second boss fight.
Boss: Lt. Surge
Level: 10
Weaknesses: None
Element: None
Another easy battle. Just one hit from Deux Ex Machina and he goes down. Gives you 200 exp and 3000 gil.
Lt. Surge then gives you the Thunder Bolt ability. Teach it to Fuzzwuzz, it is much stronger than One-Inch Punch. After beating Lt. Surge, P. Zhansheng 1990 will appear and remark on your lack of skill. He then offers to train you, in exchange for a llama. Agree, of course, even though you don't have a llama now. P. Zhansheng possesses only one technique, Hack, which can be used to destroy any enemy on screen as long as it is not of the Tree or Home-grown Wheat elements. Now that you have P. Zhansheng 1990, you are able to enter the Forest of Lore! Leave Vermillion City and head east to the forest.
1.5 The Forest of Lore! Onward to Destiny!! 2
(to be continued)
A few days ago, Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game: Blue Moon Rising reached the markets, exploding upon touchdown to release clouds of toxic gases that immediately, and rather mysteriously turned anyone who approached into a green, sticky goo. The Tales (of Final Pocket Dragon Gear) series had always captured my hearts as a wee lad, and I immediately jumped upon my segway to obtain a copy for myself. Of course, being a Tales game, how could it be bad? With this in mind, I returned home, and after wiping off the sticky sweat that had gathered on the cartridge (Pressing those buttons on the segway is hard work you know), I threw it into the console and was ready to go.
GRAPHICS: 10/10
Sure it only has 4 pixels to represent each character, one on the top for the hair, one below for the face and two more under that to show clothing, but its a Tales game. The characters look so cute, and the creators have wisely left the details of each of them to the viewers imagination. With their cheerful 1 pixel emoticons and their 256 pixel weapons, you'll be left in sheer amazement at how something so simple ever got so far! I almost came just watching BumWum cast restore on FuzzWuzz as the sparkles were soooo erotic. Not only does it get a perfect 10, I dedicate all my DnD characters to this wonderful game! Huzzah!
SOUNDS: 10/10
It might be perfectly incapable of equalling the brilliant sound of that wondrous game pong, but it definitely wipes the shit ass sounds in such games as Oblivion and Halo-2, cuz its a Tales gamez! Ez Fun and delicious to hear each character commenting in sparnzihs (sp) on how wondrouz the flower is. Particularly, eez good in making funny noise come out of speekerz, lyk beep boop.
STORY: 10/10
EEZ TALEZ GAMEEEEE!!! ME NO WAN U TOKING CRAP! IT GOOD! IT GOOD! IT GOOD! ITGOOD. LOLLOZZZZ THARS NO WAYZ ANY GAMEZ CAN BEATS THIS GOOD! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE MAIN CHRAZ BSET FREDN TURNZ OTU TO BE A BAD GUY ALL ALOGN BUT IS ALOS REALLY A GOOD GUY HELPOING THE BAD GUYS TO BE A SPY ON THE EOTHER BADGUYZ LOL!! TALES! TALES! TAELTGH!TGH
GAMEPLAY: 10/10
Boop. It was rather confusing at first, when i realized i needed to perform a qcf x 2 along with pressing C, a button located along the wire of the controller, in order to move my character forward. I really haven't even finished talking to the the man in the lacy bonnet, but of course, its a tales game. Lol.
REPLAYABILITY: 10/10
Final fantasy sucks. Talez is the balls.
OVERALL: 10/10
I M NOT A FANBOY! FAG! I RATE ALL GAMES BAESD ON HOW FUN THEY ARE AS OPPOSED TO WHAT TITLE OR SERIES THEY COE MFROM! JUST THAT FINAL FATNSY, GTA, COTNERSTRIKE< STARCRFGT, WRARFRFT, AND ALL OTHER GAMES AR E TOO STUPID! I KNOW CUZ I READ ALL THE OTHER REVIEWS! ONLY TALES GAME! TALLLESSS GAMEEEE! TALELELEES GAMEEEEE!!!! AND YOU OTHERS CALL URSELVES FANS!!!! I BET YO UDONT EVEN HAVE FUZZWUZZ BODDY PILLWS AND BUMWUMB COOKIES AND LDOLLLLLL!!!!!
2006-04-01 04:58 pm UTC (link) | |
| HRP 2006: Portrayal of Good and Evil in Video Games Section 5.6.2 Analysis of 'Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game: Blue Moon Rising' 5.6.2.1 - Introduction The 'Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game' series has traditionally been rich in its story and characterization. An exceptional amount of effort is put in by its creators in crafting the individual designs of the characters, all within the systemic constraints of its native console system, within the 4 pixels allocated to the character sprites. Of all the games in the series, "Blue Moon Rising" in specific is especially relevant to this research paper, considering that the game makes a deliberate attempt to blur the line between good and evil. While there is a clear protagonist, his goals are questioned more and more as the effects of the actions supposed villian, one by the name of Koko Krunch, are seen. As a 9th generation game(refer to 3.2: define generations), there is much more work in the creation of the plot of this game, and thus there is much more development of both the "good" and "evil" parties. The first half of the game is evidently more similar to the game of this genre, with a clear "good" and "evil". During this portion of the game, the characters of the protganist's party are defined in a light-hearted environment, before being thrown into the crisis of the later half. At the end of the first half, an event called the "Insurrection" occurs, which clearly demarcates the two largely differing sections of the game. The second half of the game is much darker and more philosophical, with a post-apocolyptic atmosphere and the revelation of the true mastermind behind the scenes, Koko Krunch. 5.6.2.2 - Fuzzwuzz Kooloobuckwuck "Fuzzwuzz Kooloobuckwuck"(hereafter referred to as 'Fuzzwuzz') is the protagonist of "Blue Moon Rising". On the surface, he resembles the generic RPG character, having been a soldier in the past and losing most of his memories prior to the events in the game. However, as the player progresses through the game, more light is shed on his past, revealing him to be a failed clone of the legendary Lumberjack, Sephiroth. Discarded from the experiment having resisted the mind-control process, and turned into a lowly soldier, he acted as a slave of the mysterious "J" organization for a long period before deserting the war efforts to find himself. After realizing that he is a failed clone, Fuzzwuzz faces an internal conflict regarding his identity. As a clone, he has an inferiority complex, constantly berating himself for not being able to take down Sephiroth, a major villian for the larger portion of the game, as he is merely a clone of the renowned lumberjack. At one point, he questions Bumwum(female protagonist with divine powers) whether he had a soul, to which she hesitated to give an answer. However, through the progression of the story, Fuzzwuzz slowly realizes that he has become an individual, capable of thinking and feeling on his own, and no longer needing to hide in the shadows of the predecessor Sephiroth. This realization, along with Bumwum's declaraction of love for him, drives him to enter a confrontation with Sephiroth, to decide who gets to lead the "J" organization. The confrontation marks the end of the first half of the game, where both Sephiroth and Fuzzwuzz have been clearly defined to be two separate individuals. For the first half of the game, the characters of the protagonist side are able to comfortably be developed and have their backgrounds fleshed out because there is a clear distinction between the good and the bad. However, entering the second half of the game, the aims and goals of the "good" side are put into question. 5.6.2.3 - Sephiroth There is a huge debate as to whether Sephiroth can be considered a true villian. On one hand, he was only a villian for the first half of the game, and was under direct control of Koko Crunch while he committed his acts of villiany. On the other hand, during the course of the game, Sephiroth is reluctant to join the party completely in their fight against Koko Krunch, questioning if Koko Crunch's aims and ideals are really evil, or merely misunderstood. While Koko Krunch slowly destroys every major city in the world, Sephiroth can usually be seen to a small extent celebrating the destruction of human civilization, chiding the party for mourning over the loss of lives. It is later revealed that Sephiroth only joined the party as part of his own vendetta against Koko Krunch, for having brainwashed his fellow lumberjacks. In the end, Sepiroth betrays the party, wanting to take Koko Krunch's life on his own, but failing miserably when Fuzzwuzz finally defeats him. 5.6.2.4 - "J" Organization The mysterious "J" organization, responsible for many forbidden experiments on live human subjects, is one of the first instances in the game of a morally questionable antagonistic being. While it can easily be seen why the organization is hated, for not only experimenting on humans, but also creating to soldiers and beginning war efforts against lesser developped regions. However, it is later revealed that the primary goal of the "J" organization is to accelerate the development and evolution of humans, in preparation for a probable coming "apocolypse", which threatens to wipe out the entire human race if nothing is done. Essentially, the "J" organization aims to force humans to evolve to a state where they can withstand and survive the coming "apocolypse". Originally a supposed "evil" organization which the protagonist party fights against, Fuzzwuzz eventually realizes the goal of the organization, as well as the larger truth of what is going to happen to the human race, and takes control of the "J" Organization is allowing humans to progress faster than they ever did before. 5.6.2.5 - Factional Warfare After Fuzzwuzz takes control of the "J" Organization, and Sephiroth is revealed to be controlled by a greater entity known as Koko Krunch, a large war begins between the two factions. While Fuzzwuzz leads the "J" organization in its efforts to create stronger and more powerful humans, Koko Krunch's armies are seemingly distinctively anti-human, bent of preventing the "J" organization from extending its influence far enough to save the race from the coming "apocolypse". While the player is evidently aware of Fuzzwuzz's goals from the first half of the game, more light is shed on Koko Krunch's goals in the second half, due to the ongoing war between the two factions. While the "J" Organization is distinctively humanitarian in trying to save the human race, the "K" organization, headed by Koko Krunch aims to prevent humans from playing god. Koko Krunch, whom had seen the race that preceeded the human race destroy itself from playing god with its own biological make-up, is bent on preventing humans from taking complete control of their own destiny, which because of their imperfect nature, is bound to be vulnerable to unrighteous temptation. In his opinion, whether humans will or are worthy to survive the "apocolypse" should be up to god and not up to them. As such, the "K" organization destroys all major cities that are currently researching on the biogenetic make-up of humans, in the process killing entire settlements of humans. In the end, Fuzzwuzz defeats Koko Krunch, but Koko Krunch asks Fuzzwuzz if he is really ready to take full control of the human civilization, having disregarded god and choosing to take responsibility for the fate of the human race thereafter. 5.6.2.6 - Conclusion 'Tales of Final Pocket Dragon Gear X Trading Card Game: Blue Moon Rising' is an espcecially morally ambiguous game. Although the game seemingly presents you with a morally uprighteous protagonist, as more is revealed about Koko Krunch's intention of controlling the growth of the human civilization, one begins to question who is really "right" in their cause. The game never does tell you who is right, and though the Koko Krunch's actions are evidentily objectable and meets his eventual inevitable downfall, the player is left to question if Koko Krunch's ideals really had some truth behind them, and whether the party really was just a representation of humanity's resistance toward change. This serves as a prime example of the evolving portrayal of good and evil in video games, where there is a clear and deliberate attempt in glorifying the villian and downplaying the ideals of the hero. In the second half of the game, the party put into direct conflict with Koko Krunch in large factional war. As with many wars, both sides are faulted at many points, and there is no clear good or bad, despite the game's portrayal of the Fuzzwuzz's party as the "good" faction. In the end, the "good" faction, headed by Fuzzwuzz, wins the war. This serves to mislead the player once again into thinking along the lines of "good always wins", which while true in many RPGs, is not so apparent in this game. While the "J" organization has won the war, the future is unclear, as history may repeat itself, having the human race destroy itself in controlling its own destiny. In essense, while one side has won and is heralded as the "good" side, the "evil" faction's points remain undoubtedly valid, with a haunting reminder for the player of what would happen now that the "good" side has won. In fact, the plot of the game has much more meaning once the player stops thinking along the sides of "good and bad" and "right and wrong", and focuses more on the issues that the game is trying to deal with. Hence, this game serves as an example of the plot of games evolving to a point where the line between good and evil is no longer even important, paving the way for more complex and less clear-cut stories, and enhances the validatity of video games as a story-telling medium. |
``~[ Thursday, April 13, 2006]~ ^
nothing much to post:
had little boy Amos over at my house just now so i couldn' t go for prayer meeting -_-
yeah that's about it. so i might as well add some random stuff from my class to pad the post up :)
erm let's see:
ah. i rmb now
Benjamin Lee: HORRIBLE CLASS! you must learn to love each other and embrace one another.
Me: Brokeback Mountain.
*absolute silence*
Darrell: What?!
*super loud laughter from the class*
B. Lee: God.
******************************************************************
Bryan Buan: PAEDOPHILE
Shang Da: LOLITACON
Bjunliang1990: Little Children on my Lap
Me: OMG.
Shang Da: *pauses thinking* Makes me horny, want to fap.
Zhang: OMFG!!
Bjunliang1990: *trying not to laugh* Some are big, and some are--
Me: Tiny.
Bjunliang1990: Yeah. tiny. No-- small.
*silence because no one can think of the next line which has a last syllable rhyming with small*
Shang Da: ... Small? Er...... AHA! But when they're naked, my d*** is tall!
Everyone: AHAHAHAAAAAAA
*bjunliang1990 laughs so hard that he falls down and rolls down the hostel slope, making us laugh even harder*
had little boy Amos over at my house just now so i couldn' t go for prayer meeting -_-
yeah that's about it. so i might as well add some random stuff from my class to pad the post up :)
erm let's see:
ah. i rmb now
Benjamin Lee: HORRIBLE CLASS! you must learn to love each other and embrace one another.
Me: Brokeback Mountain.
*absolute silence*
Darrell: What?!
*super loud laughter from the class*
B. Lee: God.
******************************************************************
Bryan Buan: PAEDOPHILE
Shang Da: LOLITACON
Bjunliang1990: Little Children on my Lap
Me: OMG.
Shang Da: *pauses thinking* Makes me horny, want to fap.
Zhang: OMFG!!
Bjunliang1990: *trying not to laugh* Some are big, and some are--
Me: Tiny.
Bjunliang1990: Yeah. tiny. No-- small.
*silence because no one can think of the next line which has a last syllable rhyming with small*
Shang Da: ... Small? Er...... AHA! But when they're naked, my d*** is tall!
Everyone: AHAHAHAAAAAAA
*bjunliang1990 laughs so hard that he falls down and rolls down the hostel slope, making us laugh even harder*
``~[ Monday, April 10, 2006]~ ^
you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.
<DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused
<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her name alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker
AHAHAHAAAAAAAA
<OtherBill> omg. It's the meditation mantra of the internet generation.
<FrankFlyNess> she still sits next to me in spanish
<FrankFlyNess> we pass notes
<FrankFlyNess> its almost like cybering
<+Starvin`Marvin> over here in my country , im a real sex object
<+RonaldMcD|afk> looool
<+Starvin`Marvin> whenever i ask girls for sex ... they object
<+Bastaard> LOL!
Baastaard.
<@sioux> it's going to be tricky tomorrow, i don't know if i'll make it
<@sioux> so if something happens to me, will one of you come and delete my pr0n?
<@sioux> i don't want my mother to find it
<@sioux> but please make sure i'm dead. wait until after the funeral. don't delete that shit while i'm still on life support or in a coma or something
<@sioux> if by some "act of god" or a donor organ i'm miraculously saved, and i come home and all my pr0n is gone, i'm going to kill myself
<@DocGonzo> yeh, my gf + monitor was 109lbs
<@DocGonzo> and it wasnt even trinitron
<usunoro> your gf weighs like 60lb?
<usunoro> she's TINY
<simqx> dude.
<@DocGonzo> er, i mean g4
<slippy^> i am evi|
<mr-cow> what you done now?
<slippy^> well
<slippy^> i had a thought.
<slippy^> sat on my desk is a "clients" pc
<slippy^> would it be wrong of me to install something that screwed it every few months, thus insuring work?
* slippy^ installs winME
<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(
<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking
<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards
<simqx> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover?
<FooMashoo> yes
<psmylie> the man's an idiot. he tried for three years to beat tetris because I told him there was an end boss.
<Eskimo-Steve> damn it, files are dling too fast
<roninFool> steve: ha ha
<roninFool> wait, TOO fast?
<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms..
HEH.
<Geothermal> "<Sphlynxo> Watch your mouth, son." what the hell was that
<Geothermal> he better be joking
<Geothermal> 'cause this is fucking finalfight
<Kazz-readin> Yeah. Fight the power!
<dregan> Where the men are men, the women are women, the sheep are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men!
<simqx> and the little boys are FBI.
<Geothermal>LOLLERSKATES!
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused
<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her name alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker
AHAHAHAAAAAAAA
<OtherBill> omg. It's the meditation mantra of the internet generation.
<FrankFlyNess> she still sits next to me in spanish
<FrankFlyNess> we pass notes
<FrankFlyNess> its almost like cybering
<+Starvin`Marvin> over here in my country , im a real sex object
<+RonaldMcD|afk> looool
<+Starvin`Marvin> whenever i ask girls for sex ... they object
<+Bastaard> LOL!
Baastaard.
<@sioux> it's going to be tricky tomorrow, i don't know if i'll make it
<@sioux> so if something happens to me, will one of you come and delete my pr0n?
<@sioux> i don't want my mother to find it
<@sioux> but please make sure i'm dead. wait until after the funeral. don't delete that shit while i'm still on life support or in a coma or something
<@sioux> if by some "act of god" or a donor organ i'm miraculously saved, and i come home and all my pr0n is gone, i'm going to kill myself
<@DocGonzo> yeh, my gf + monitor was 109lbs
<@DocGonzo> and it wasnt even trinitron
<usunoro> your gf weighs like 60lb?
<usunoro> she's TINY
<simqx> dude.
<@DocGonzo> er, i mean g4
<slippy^> i am evi|
<mr-cow> what you done now?
<slippy^> well
<slippy^> i had a thought.
<slippy^> sat on my desk is a "clients" pc
<slippy^> would it be wrong of me to install something that screwed it every few months, thus insuring work?
* slippy^ installs winME
<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(
<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking
<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards
<simqx> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover?
<FooMashoo> yes
<psmylie> the man's an idiot. he tried for three years to beat tetris because I told him there was an end boss.
<Eskimo-Steve> damn it, files are dling too fast
<roninFool> steve: ha ha
<roninFool> wait, TOO fast?
<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms..
HEH.
<Geothermal> "<Sphlynxo> Watch your mouth, son." what the hell was that
<Geothermal> he better be joking
<Geothermal> 'cause this is fucking finalfight
<Kazz-readin> Yeah. Fight the power!
<dregan> Where the men are men, the women are women, the sheep are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men!
<simqx> and the little boys are FBI.
<Geothermal>LOLLERSKATES!
matters
- my dad's teaching in sulawesi from the 17th to the 23th, and so he won't be around for the AGM i believe. in fact, i think he's giving a speech to this church on the main island on the 23th.
- i wasn't free for the last fweew days. sorry guys.
- i remember i'm suppposed to do something but ic can't remember what. dammit.
``~[ Saturday, April 08, 2006]~ ^
There were foreign missionaries and German Nazis living in China during the war--many of whom sheltered Chinese victims of Japanese atrocities. She has identified a man she calls "the Oskar Schindler of China," a German Nazi named John Rabe, as well as an American "Anne Frank," named Minnie Vautrin who committed suicide in the International Safety Zone in Nanking during the massacre. She likes to point out that, according to the diaries, the atrocities in Nanking were so brutal, "even the Nazis were shocked."
What did you learn had happened in Nanking? In Nanking, babies were thrown in the air and bayoneted on the way down. Some people were buried waist deep and torn apart by German shepherds. People were killed in any manner you could imagine. I mean, fire, freezing, mutilation, explosion. ... Prisoners were used for bayonet practice. Women's breasts were cut off. Men were castrated. I have read accounts of tanks being stuck, not able to go across a ditch because the ditch was empty, and so they would round up all the civilians in the area, men, women, children, and shoot them all down and they'd put their bodies in the ditch so the tank could go over it. I could go on for days. ... It was horrifying. ... And it's amazing how some of the people survived. Women hid in holes in the ground. Some women dressed in rags, or shaved their heads and smeared soot over their faces so they would appear to be too ugly or diseased to be raped. ... There were people who pretended to be dead, then clawed their way out of half-buried graves or hid under mounds of bodies. I read one account in which a Buddhist nun and a little girl hid for several days, almost a week, and they didn't dare open their eyes. And they were covered with other bodies. They just lay like that, pretending to be dead, until they were rescued later. In your research you've come across the diaries of German Nazis stationed in China. One man in particular, Rabe, head of the International Committee for the Nanking Safety Zone, risked his life trying to protect the Chinese. Why were the Nazis helping the Chinese? You have to understand that some of the people who were members of the Nazi party had not been in Germany for many decades. So they did not understand the extent of activities the Nazis were engaged in in Germany. In fact, they were probably more Chinese in heart and soul than they were German. And many of them thought of the Nazi party as a socialist party. John Rabe, who was head of the local Nazi party, I consider something of the Oskar Schindler of China because he risked his life to protect all of these citizens, and later on he was punished by the Germans for this because he was aiding the citizens of an enemy country. After the war, he was denounced [by the Allies] for being a member of the Nazi party, even though he was in China and had saved all those hundreds of thousands of lives. There were more than 100,000 people crammed into the Safety Zone in Nanking, which was only about 2 1/2 square miles. Members of the Safety Zone Committee protected women from rape. They risked their lives to cart in food. Many of them endured physical violence by the Japanese for protecting Chinese. They were all routinely slapped or beaten up. ... For years afterwards, many of them were psychologically scarred. One would have complete amnesia when attempting to talk about it. And at least one woman committed suicide when she was in the zone. Her name was Minnie Vautrin; she has a diary which I found at Yale. She's like the Anne Frank of China because she kept daily diaries--they are so compelling, and I would like to make sure her diary is published.
the stories go--recorded in international newspapers, Chinese government and academic documents, Japanese photographs and in the diaries of Red Cross officials stationed in Nanking--the Japanese killed so many men, women and children with machetes that their arms became tired and they had to rest before they continued. The soldiers also used bayonets, machine guns, live burial and fire. Decapitation was popular, evidenced by dozens of photographs in James Yin Shi Young's The Rape of Nanking (Innovative Publishing Group, 1996). Chinese heads were fed to the dogs. Women were raped, forced to perform bizarre sexual acts, then killed. Fathers were forced to rape their daughters, and sons, their mothers. Chinese men were forced to rape corpses. Competitions took place among Japanese soldiers to see how many Chinese they could kill in one day.
For six to eight weeks, the horrors in Nanking continued unabated. After World War II, while the Germans were preparing for trial at Nuremberg, the U.S., represented by General Douglas MacArthur, brokered secret deals with the Japanese government. In exchange for their research on germ warfare and human biology, the murderous actions of the Japanese in China and elsewhere in the Pacific would be ignored. Even today, the germ-warfare research which the U.S. obtained, and which some believe may explain some POW illnesses, has not been declassified.
OMG!!
What did you learn had happened in Nanking? In Nanking, babies were thrown in the air and bayoneted on the way down. Some people were buried waist deep and torn apart by German shepherds. People were killed in any manner you could imagine. I mean, fire, freezing, mutilation, explosion. ... Prisoners were used for bayonet practice. Women's breasts were cut off. Men were castrated. I have read accounts of tanks being stuck, not able to go across a ditch because the ditch was empty, and so they would round up all the civilians in the area, men, women, children, and shoot them all down and they'd put their bodies in the ditch so the tank could go over it. I could go on for days. ... It was horrifying. ... And it's amazing how some of the people survived. Women hid in holes in the ground. Some women dressed in rags, or shaved their heads and smeared soot over their faces so they would appear to be too ugly or diseased to be raped. ... There were people who pretended to be dead, then clawed their way out of half-buried graves or hid under mounds of bodies. I read one account in which a Buddhist nun and a little girl hid for several days, almost a week, and they didn't dare open their eyes. And they were covered with other bodies. They just lay like that, pretending to be dead, until they were rescued later. In your research you've come across the diaries of German Nazis stationed in China. One man in particular, Rabe, head of the International Committee for the Nanking Safety Zone, risked his life trying to protect the Chinese. Why were the Nazis helping the Chinese? You have to understand that some of the people who were members of the Nazi party had not been in Germany for many decades. So they did not understand the extent of activities the Nazis were engaged in in Germany. In fact, they were probably more Chinese in heart and soul than they were German. And many of them thought of the Nazi party as a socialist party. John Rabe, who was head of the local Nazi party, I consider something of the Oskar Schindler of China because he risked his life to protect all of these citizens, and later on he was punished by the Germans for this because he was aiding the citizens of an enemy country. After the war, he was denounced [by the Allies] for being a member of the Nazi party, even though he was in China and had saved all those hundreds of thousands of lives. There were more than 100,000 people crammed into the Safety Zone in Nanking, which was only about 2 1/2 square miles. Members of the Safety Zone Committee protected women from rape. They risked their lives to cart in food. Many of them endured physical violence by the Japanese for protecting Chinese. They were all routinely slapped or beaten up. ... For years afterwards, many of them were psychologically scarred. One would have complete amnesia when attempting to talk about it. And at least one woman committed suicide when she was in the zone. Her name was Minnie Vautrin; she has a diary which I found at Yale. She's like the Anne Frank of China because she kept daily diaries--they are so compelling, and I would like to make sure her diary is published.
the stories go--recorded in international newspapers, Chinese government and academic documents, Japanese photographs and in the diaries of Red Cross officials stationed in Nanking--the Japanese killed so many men, women and children with machetes that their arms became tired and they had to rest before they continued. The soldiers also used bayonets, machine guns, live burial and fire. Decapitation was popular, evidenced by dozens of photographs in James Yin Shi Young's The Rape of Nanking (Innovative Publishing Group, 1996). Chinese heads were fed to the dogs. Women were raped, forced to perform bizarre sexual acts, then killed. Fathers were forced to rape their daughters, and sons, their mothers. Chinese men were forced to rape corpses. Competitions took place among Japanese soldiers to see how many Chinese they could kill in one day.
For six to eight weeks, the horrors in Nanking continued unabated. After World War II, while the Germans were preparing for trial at Nuremberg, the U.S., represented by General Douglas MacArthur, brokered secret deals with the Japanese government. In exchange for their research on germ warfare and human biology, the murderous actions of the Japanese in China and elsewhere in the Pacific would be ignored. Even today, the germ-warfare research which the U.S. obtained, and which some believe may explain some POW illnesses, has not been declassified.
OMG!!
``~[ Thursday, April 06, 2006]~ ^
Dude, I just thought of the best Christian rap CD title ever-- the RhapCD
[hawkman] my friend had a huge bloody nose in 11th grade, and he just shoved toilet paper up his nose until it stopped. then my friend grabbed a coat hanger out of his car (i'm not really sure why he had one), then we went into the girls bathroom and spread blood _ALL_ over one of the stalls, left the coat hanger there, and put up a sign that said "please dont flush my baby"
[Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/korea.nukes/index.html
[Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making everything up
[Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart
[Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea. Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there '
[Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making fun of asian people
[Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has threatened to destroy any troops coming through their territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's SLANTEYEBASTIDS."
[Jsangspar> gahahah
frostedbeagels: now here's the thing
onkeybutt87: where's the thing?
frostedbeagels: here
onkeybutt87: oh yeah
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
[Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
[Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after that...
[Snowman> Even when I have root...
[TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
[TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
[Snowman> How do I get that
[TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
[Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman(poopie@host-209-111-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #hackr
[Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay
For the uninformed: he just hacked his own computer
[@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
[@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
[@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
[@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
[@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
[@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary.
[@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
[@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
[@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
[David> Finally. It works. My Palm is working.
[schnorks> Now you can hold stuff
[ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good. Alright, so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
[ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
[ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
[Piro-nuts> rofl...
[ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."
[Metalcore> works now, though
[Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet
[Metalcore> fast as hell
[Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle
[Metalcore> in hurricane force winds
[Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope
[Metalcore> of teflon
Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(
--> ( join ) josiejaz (~jimmie@hide-53860.dial.tor1.sprint-canada.net) joined (#linux).
( josiejaz ) fucking god damn peice of s**t ISP
( Eric ) i love how you cencored "shit"
( Eric ) but forgot fucking and damn
chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class
ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh?
simqx: f***er....
scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less than one second.
mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.
]Alex> i
[Alex> f s h
[Alex> t c k s
[Alex> s i
[Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
[Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
[Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
[Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
[Reiz0r> Something
[Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
[sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in emacs
[iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
[iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
[iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..
[who] i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i can't watch horror movies
[who] i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle of the theater
[Towzzer> hey ufo
[ufo8mydog> hey ugly
[Towzzer> that's not my nick
[ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
[Towzzer> ouch
bcreasy: come check this out
gbarnes: no
bcreasy: *shiny thing*
gbarnes: oh, be right there
Stacy: Raymond is correct.
Raymond: I always am
Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a number.
Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?
castuslumen: whats the name of those hats that Green Berets wear?
foranzan: are you being stupid on purpose?
castuslumen: what?
foranzan: you are officially the Rolls Royce of stupid.
Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws it on her
Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat, you dumb bitch!"
Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says "that's okay, it's fake blood"
TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome
bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh f*** u
Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.
[Sneux_Duck> so today at school we had this guy talking about sexual predators online and crap like that for a good hour. and he said something like "girls don't put your pictures online. these freaks will only collect, trade and sell them" and i said a bit too loudly "gotta catch 'em all"
[Sneux_Duck> he was the only one not laughing...
[Revolution|AngeL> he thinks because we idle 4 of the same channels
[Revolution|AngeL> we're somehow friends
[Revolution|AngeL> i dont even know how it started.
[Revolution|AngeL> a casual glance here
[Revolution|AngeL> a soft touch there
[Revolution|AngeL> gentle, warm and caring chatting.
[Revolution|AngeL> brokeback irc.
[Revolution|AngeL> i wish i knew how to /quit you
Laudanum: I think my ability to communicate has gone downhill.
kaltegeburt: I don't understand.
* Qwyxzl growls at his connection
* Furion sees his virus is working.
* Qwyxzl gets out his Furion voodoo doll
* Furion Quit (Ping timeout)
[Elessa> whoa!
[JasonM> Oh my god.
[JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
[JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
[JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
[aikon> LOL!
[JasonM> I pissbolted.
[JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a burned emo corpse on the ground
[jjccp> i broke my leg
[jjccp> BDSM [editors note: bondage domination sado-masochism] is evil
[[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't related
[yogurt1> dude, the saddest thing happend today. My mom woke me up at fucking 9 in the morning, cause our garbage can blew open and spread it all around the street. So I throw on clothes and go out to clean. It takes me fucking 2 hours to finish it. Then some punk kid comes by and kicks it over, and it all blows away again. I go up to this kid and I say "You stupud fuck clean it" this punk ass kid says to me "haha fuck that".
[yogurt1> I couldn't hear him because I had earmuffs but I knew thats what the kid says. So after mouthing off I punch the kid in the face and walk home. like an hour later the kids mom comes to the door and says shes going to sue me for punching...her 13 year old daughter.
[benji443> HAHA LMAO!
[jiirco> ROFL YOU PUNCHED A GIRL!!!!!!!!!
[yogurt1> She was wearing a hat and a hood for fuck sakes!
[samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
[samsim> and got mauled
[samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
[samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
[samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise tomorrow.
kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and screw around with me
kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.
mac: LOL the vending machine at school hate blacks!
mac: I was waiting in line behind three black guys
mac: they each put in their money press the same button and nothing happens
mac: I walk up put in my money press the same button and four Dr.Peppers fall out!
Newzfoxjr: Holy shit dude
Newzfoxjr: my friend ding dong door bell ditched a house across the street
Newzfoxjr: he ran to a bush and hid, the guy answered and he was dressed up in a freaking S&M suit
Newzfoxjr: so my friend comes out of the bush, looks at him, AND GOES INTO HIS FREAKING HOUSE.
Newzfoxjr: it's been like 2 hours
parting shot:
[b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".
K guys, have a nice day.
[Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/korea.nukes/index.html
[Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making everything up
[Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart
[Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea. Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there '
[Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making fun of asian people
[Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has threatened to destroy any troops coming through their territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's SLANTEYEBASTIDS."
[Jsangspar> gahahah
frostedbeagels: now here's the thing
onkeybutt87: where's the thing?
frostedbeagels: here
onkeybutt87: oh yeah
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
[Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
[Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after that...
[Snowman> Even when I have root...
[TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
[TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
[Snowman> How do I get that
[TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
[Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman(poopie@host-209-111-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #hackr
[Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay
For the uninformed: he just hacked his own computer
[@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
[@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
[@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
[@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
[@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
[@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary.
[@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
[@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
[@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
[David> Finally. It works. My Palm is working.
[schnorks> Now you can hold stuff
[ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good. Alright, so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
[ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
[ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
[Piro-nuts> rofl...
[ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."
[Metalcore> works now, though
[Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet
[Metalcore> fast as hell
[Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle
[Metalcore> in hurricane force winds
[Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope
[Metalcore> of teflon
Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(
--> ( join ) josiejaz (~jimmie@hide-53860.dial.tor1.sprint-canada.net) joined (#linux).
( josiejaz ) fucking god damn peice of s**t ISP
( Eric ) i love how you cencored "shit"
( Eric ) but forgot fucking and damn
chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class
ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh?
simqx: f***er....
scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less than one second.
mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.
]Alex> i
[Alex> f s h
[Alex> t c k s
[Alex> s i
[Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
[Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
[Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
[Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
[Reiz0r> Something
[Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
[sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in emacs
[iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
[iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
[iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..
[who] i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i can't watch horror movies
[who] i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle of the theater
[Towzzer> hey ufo
[ufo8mydog> hey ugly
[Towzzer> that's not my nick
[ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
[Towzzer> ouch
bcreasy: come check this out
gbarnes: no
bcreasy: *shiny thing*
gbarnes: oh, be right there
Stacy: Raymond is correct.
Raymond: I always am
Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a number.
Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?
castuslumen: whats the name of those hats that Green Berets wear?
foranzan: are you being stupid on purpose?
castuslumen: what?
foranzan: you are officially the Rolls Royce of stupid.
Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws it on her
Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat, you dumb bitch!"
Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says "that's okay, it's fake blood"
TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome
bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh f*** u
Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.
[Sneux_Duck> so today at school we had this guy talking about sexual predators online and crap like that for a good hour. and he said something like "girls don't put your pictures online. these freaks will only collect, trade and sell them" and i said a bit too loudly "gotta catch 'em all"
[Sneux_Duck> he was the only one not laughing...
[Revolution|AngeL> he thinks because we idle 4 of the same channels
[Revolution|AngeL> we're somehow friends
[Revolution|AngeL> i dont even know how it started.
[Revolution|AngeL> a casual glance here
[Revolution|AngeL> a soft touch there
[Revolution|AngeL> gentle, warm and caring chatting.
[Revolution|AngeL> brokeback irc.
[Revolution|AngeL> i wish i knew how to /quit you
Laudanum: I think my ability to communicate has gone downhill.
kaltegeburt: I don't understand.
* Qwyxzl growls at his connection
* Furion sees his virus is working.
* Qwyxzl gets out his Furion voodoo doll
* Furion Quit (Ping timeout)
[Elessa> whoa!
[JasonM> Oh my god.
[JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
[JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
[JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
[aikon> LOL!
[JasonM> I pissbolted.
[JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a burned emo corpse on the ground
[jjccp> i broke my leg
[jjccp> BDSM [editors note: bondage domination sado-masochism] is evil
[[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't related
[yogurt1> dude, the saddest thing happend today. My mom woke me up at fucking 9 in the morning, cause our garbage can blew open and spread it all around the street. So I throw on clothes and go out to clean. It takes me fucking 2 hours to finish it. Then some punk kid comes by and kicks it over, and it all blows away again. I go up to this kid and I say "You stupud fuck clean it" this punk ass kid says to me "haha fuck that".
[yogurt1> I couldn't hear him because I had earmuffs but I knew thats what the kid says. So after mouthing off I punch the kid in the face and walk home. like an hour later the kids mom comes to the door and says shes going to sue me for punching...her 13 year old daughter.
[benji443> HAHA LMAO!
[jiirco> ROFL YOU PUNCHED A GIRL!!!!!!!!!
[yogurt1> She was wearing a hat and a hood for fuck sakes!
[samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
[samsim> and got mauled
[samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
[samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
[samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise tomorrow.
kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and screw around with me
kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.
mac: LOL the vending machine at school hate blacks!
mac: I was waiting in line behind three black guys
mac: they each put in their money press the same button and nothing happens
mac: I walk up put in my money press the same button and four Dr.Peppers fall out!
Newzfoxjr: Holy shit dude
Newzfoxjr: my friend ding dong door bell ditched a house across the street
Newzfoxjr: he ran to a bush and hid, the guy answered and he was dressed up in a freaking S&M suit
Newzfoxjr: so my friend comes out of the bush, looks at him, AND GOES INTO HIS FREAKING HOUSE.
Newzfoxjr: it's been like 2 hours
parting shot:
[b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".
K guys, have a nice day.
``~[ Wednesday, April 05, 2006]~ ^
QDB: 50 Random Quotes
[^Tony_Soprano^] TommyT, we all knw that all girls on mirc are guys, all guys are guys, and little boys are FBI agents
[quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER ONTO MY BALCNONY
[kuntraver> heh
[quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
[kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
[quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
[quintessential> wtf
[kuntraver> ?
[quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
[D-BOY> MK, you shouldn't assume so much
[chockoman> YEAH
[chockoman> YOU KNOW WHAT ASSUMING DOES
[chockoman> IT MAKES AN ASS OUT OF YOU
[chockoman> AND SOME GUY NAMED MENG
(MrPino) how do i make a mass messager? that will message everyone in a channel
that i highlight, and then i can input what i want the message to be
@(Splodge`) That's called spam
(MrPino) i know, but i'
(MrPino) i'm not using it for spam, i'm using it for e-business
bob2 | fuck, my room is like a bad text adventure!
tb | The top of my monitor is too thin to fit anything, unless I glue it on.
bob2 | > take thermos
bob2 | the thermos lid falls off, spilling boiling water all over you!
bob2 | you die!
bob2 | play again (y/n)?
Faugn | no
[FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up and the other dumped me to work on her character
now a meaningful discussion here:
|cmf> using semantics to mask the problems of our world is only putting a bandaid on a bullet wound
|pedXing> yeah
|pedXing> but
|pedXing> it's a fuzzy bandaid, with cartoon characters on it.
|pedXing> which is really better than nothing.
|cmf> it sure is
[LordStan> Jed, why can't you have a fake man that has a magical motor that drives a series of gears and what-not to make a robot?
[Jedisar> LordStan: Because he's busy starring in a new FF game.
[LordStan> I would say something sarcastic to that, but chances are you're right.
[KainSularei> I wish that it was possible to edit car honks
[KainSularei> sometimes someone tries to cut me off, but i always see it coming and speed ahead of them
[KainSularei> So I'm thinking I get some LOTR Gandalf bumper sticker on my back bumper
[KainSularei> I'd like to be able to hit the steering wheel and have them hear this booming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as I go by
Itsm3: Cardboard, when you were little your parents used to tell you to stop making that face or you would be ugly for the rest of your life.
Itsm3: And then they realized. . . you weren't making a face.
CardboardBoxes: :(
Parting shot:
[Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal.
[NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings????
[Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush
[quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER ONTO MY BALCNONY
[kuntraver> heh
[quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
[kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
[quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
[quintessential> wtf
[kuntraver> ?
[quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
[D-BOY> MK, you shouldn't assume so much
[chockoman> YEAH
[chockoman> YOU KNOW WHAT ASSUMING DOES
[chockoman> IT MAKES AN ASS OUT OF YOU
[chockoman> AND SOME GUY NAMED MENG
(MrPino) how do i make a mass messager? that will message everyone in a channel
that i highlight, and then i can input what i want the message to be
@(Splodge`) That's called spam
(MrPino) i know, but i'
(MrPino) i'm not using it for spam, i'm using it for e-business
bob2 | fuck, my room is like a bad text adventure!
tb | The top of my monitor is too thin to fit anything, unless I glue it on.
bob2 | > take thermos
bob2 | the thermos lid falls off, spilling boiling water all over you!
bob2 | you die!
bob2 | play again (y/n)?
Faugn | no
[FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up and the other dumped me to work on her character
now a meaningful discussion here:
|cmf> using semantics to mask the problems of our world is only putting a bandaid on a bullet wound
|pedXing> yeah
|pedXing> but
|pedXing> it's a fuzzy bandaid, with cartoon characters on it.
|pedXing> which is really better than nothing.
|cmf> it sure is
[LordStan> Jed, why can't you have a fake man that has a magical motor that drives a series of gears and what-not to make a robot?
[Jedisar> LordStan: Because he's busy starring in a new FF game.
[LordStan> I would say something sarcastic to that, but chances are you're right.
[KainSularei> I wish that it was possible to edit car honks
[KainSularei> sometimes someone tries to cut me off, but i always see it coming and speed ahead of them
[KainSularei> So I'm thinking I get some LOTR Gandalf bumper sticker on my back bumper
[KainSularei> I'd like to be able to hit the steering wheel and have them hear this booming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as I go by
Itsm3: Cardboard, when you were little your parents used to tell you to stop making that face or you would be ugly for the rest of your life.
Itsm3: And then they realized. . . you weren't making a face.
CardboardBoxes: :(
Parting shot:
[Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal.
[NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings????
[Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush
``~[ Tuesday, April 04, 2006]~ ^
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Swallow Scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Scene 1
[wind]
[clop clop clop]
King Arthur: Whoa there!
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Soldier #1: Pull the other one!
Arthur: I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Soldier #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Soldier #1: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Soldier #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
Soldier #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Soldier #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Soldier #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Soldier #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Soldier #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Soldier #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Soldier #1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?
Narrative Interlude
Narrator: Sir Launcelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow's flight away, had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallows' flights away-- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--
Crowd: Get on with it!
Narrator: Oh, anyway. On to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a starling-- oooh!
Scene 23
[gurgle]
Galahad: There it is!
Arthur: The Bridge of Death!
Robin: Oh, great.
Arthur: Look! There's the old man from scene twenty-four!
Bedevere: What is he doing here?
Arthur: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveller five questions--
Galahad: Three questions.
Arthur: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
Galahad: Three questions.
Arthur: Three questions may cross in safety.
Robin: What if you get a question wrong?
Arthur: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
Robin: Oh, I won't go.
Galahad: Who's going to answer the questions?
Arthur: Sir Robin!
Robin: Yes?
Arthur: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
Robin: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?
Launcelot: Yes. Let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east that s--
Arthur: No, no. No. Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Just answer the five questions--
Galahad: Three questions.
Arthur: Three questions as best you can, and we shall watch... and pray.
Launcelot: I understand, my liege.
Arthur: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Launcelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Launcelot: My name is 'Sir Launcelot of Camelot'.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Launcelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Launcelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right. Off you go.
Launcelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Robin: That's easy!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Robin: 'Sir Robin of Camelot'.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Robin: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! What... is your name?
Galahad: 'Sir Galahad of Camelot'.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel-- auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
